2nd Series 01/19 - Small Annoyances
by Laura the infamous B
Summary: Cosmo plays with dolls...


**Small Annoyances**   
by Laura Boeff 

Ace Cooper relaxed into the plush depths of his couch. Simply became a boneless lump on the sofa, every muscle in his body going completely lax.   
What a day!   
What a day, what a day. The day from hell. The longest day of his life. The day that seemed would never end.   
It went without saying, it had not been a good day for Ace.   
Not a minute of it.   
But.... Ace melted a little more into the couch, but, it was over. He was home. In his home, safe, sound and secured.   
The door to the living room/library opened with a hushed swoosh and Ace found himself unwilling to even crack an eye open.   
Humm... When had he closed his eyes? Ah, didn't matter. They could stay that way for a while.   
"Hey, Ace."   
Ace smiled at the greeting. It came from none other than his assistant, partner and ward Cosmo. And, from the tone, Cosmo was rather pleased with himself. There was laughter in those brief words and Ace smiled unconsciously.   
"Hi, Cosmo," he returned, still refusing to open his eyes. Even when he felt Cosmo lean against the couch back.   
"Watcha been up to?" he asked curiously. Nice, it was nice to study the back of his eyelids.   
"Shopping," Cosmo snickered.   
Okay... Why didn't Ace like that tone of voice? Where had he heard it before?   
Humm... Oh yea, whenever Cosmo was about to pull a prank he would sound like that. A little, dangerous bundle of wicked humor.   
Uh oh....   
"Shopping? That's good," Ace dismissed it. Getting involved didn't seem like a good idea.   
"Want to see what I got?"   
Oh.. damn... Something was up. There was just no missing the laughter in Cosmo's way too cheerful voice. Hesitantly, Ace cracked one eye open up at the teen.   
Bright. The first thing that always struck Ace was simply how bright Cosmo was. The young man did not go for bland colors in the least. Today was no different, wearing a blazing yellow shirt with purple stripping, tucked into his regular red pants.   
But, it wasn't the assault on fashion sense that really caught Ace's eye. It was the gleam in Cosmo's own pale gray gaze. Uh oh... Cosmo looked waaaay too pleased with himself.   
"Do I have a choice?" he asked, feeling a churning dread in his stomach.   
Cosmo's grin just widened ear to ear.   
"Well.. if you really don't want to know..." he went on airily.   
Ace groaned. Damn. If he asked, he was going to regret the answer, and if he didn't... He was still going to regret it because Cosmo would make sure he found out eventually.   
"Okay... What did you buy?"   
Cosmo snickered and reached into a small bag held in his hand. And pulled out...   
An Ace Cooper action figure doll.   
"Damn..." Ace snarled and threw and arm over his face to block out the sight. "Damn it.. I told them not to make those!" he lamented.   
Cosmo laughed wickedly. "Guess what... they didn't listen."   
"Obviously!"   
"Humm.. Sorry, bud, I don't think he likes you."   
Ace dared to peek out from under his arm. Was Cosmo talking to him?   
"Yea, I agree.. you look way better than him."   
Ace moaned. Cosmo was having a conversation with the doll. Blithely talking with it and ignoring him.   
"Cosmo..." he growled.   
"Yes, Ace?"   
Ace glared up at him. Just.. glared. And Cosmo just grinned back.   
"See... knew he'd be cheesed," Cosmo happily told the doll.   
"Cut that out!"   
Cosmo giggled and beamed in delight at him as he glowered.   
"Hey, Ace.. it's just a doll," he said lightly, knowing damn well how Ace felt about it. It wasn't like he hadn't thrown a fit the first time the idea had been brought before him. Or the second time for that matter. Of all the... That was it. He was going to kill everyone in the marketing department. Just.. kill them.   
"Of all the.." Ace rumbled.   
Cosmo laughed and eyed up the doll speculatively. "Not a bad likeness," he mused.   
Ace just growled.   
"Let's see if this sucker is anatomically correct."   
"Give me that!"   
Ace made a lunge for the offending piece of plastic, but Cosmo simply slipped nimbly under his arm and made a dash for the door.   
"Uh uhn. Buy your own!" he howled gleefully. "Only 5.99 each!"   
Ace let out a snarl as the door shut on Cosmo's echoing laughter and slouched back onto the couch.   
Of all the days. Would this torture never end?!   
He tried to relax. Tried to find comfort again hiding behind his eyelids, but that stupid, moronic, obnoxious doll kept popping up into his imagination. In all it's tacky glory.   
Okay.. He was definitely going to kill the marketing department for making them. And then Cosmo for buying it.   
Well.. maybe not kill him. But something suitably cruel. Maybe make him wash the Express by hand.. or clean Zina'a litter box for a month, or.. or..   
Ace grinned at how his mind was just having waaay to much fun thinking of ways to get back at Cosmo.   
Or, make Cosmo spend the day with Vega at his office get his filing system in order.   
Ace grinned. Oh... sweet revenge! Not that Vega would be thrilled with him. But that was besides the point.   
With a sigh, and a chuckle, Ace once again found his earlier peace and went back to happily relaxing on his couch. Visions of Cosmo suffering under Vega's glare dancing in his head for some time as the world sort of stopped for a while in his own little haven.   
Sometime later, Angel popped into existence and woke him.   
"Ace."   
Ace blinked blearily. When had he fallen asleep? Oh well..   
"Yes, Angel?"   
"You are due to meet Vega in thirty minutes," she informed him kindly.   
Oh, that was right. Early dinner with his friend.   
"Thanks, Angel,"   
Ace heaved himself up and ambled off to his room. A quick shower and he would get on his way. As the door slid open, Ace shed his jacket and tossed it on the bed, working on his shirt as he noticed something. Something standing on his dresser. Propped against the mirror. Something that he did not like. Not at all.   
The doll.   
That singularly, tasteless doll.   
And worse...   
.... it was wearing a dress.   
Ace ripped the doll up in a furious grip and spun as the door snicked open.   
*click*   
Ace was momentarily startled by the flash of a camera going off. After the dancing lights left his eyes he saw Cosmo, grinning like the devil himself.   
A picture... Cosmo had gotten a picture of him holding the doll.   
Him... Holding the Ace Cooper doll outfitted in a pink, frilly dress.   
"Cosmo!"   
Cosmo took off howling with laughter as Ace hurled the doll like dart out the door.   
For a moment he just fumed.   
Death wasn't good enough for the boy. Not good enough at all.   
It would take several deep breaths, and possibly a crowbar to unclench his hands, but Ace finally managed to calm down. If he never saw that doll again, it would be too soon!   
But, there was no time now to hunt down and torture his partner. He had to meet Vega. And best he cool down first with a shower.   
After getting dressed and groomed, Ace warily made his way to the vehicle bay. He was waiting, just waiting for Cosmo to pop up and torment him some more with his evil toy.   
As Ace walked, his eyes darted. Looking, seeking any and every movement. And when nothing happened, it made him all the more nervous till Ace suddenly found himself in the vehicle bay. He had made it. Unmolested by miniature apparitions of himself.   
Surprised, Ace looked about and sighed. Maybe Cosmo had had enough. Decided to cut him some slack and let him enjoy his evening.   
And it was what he intended to do, hopping into the Magic Racer. If he didn't hurry, he would be late meeting Vega at the restaurant, and he had had enough aggravations for one day.   
Almost fleeing the Express, and his conniving assistant, Ace finally relaxed as he drove through town. But then, he noticed something. People would honk at him at stop lights. Or grin. Or wave and point. Humm... Ace was used to attention. Received it on a regular bases due to his reputation, but tonight everyone seemed to be really noticing him.   
Humm... Wasn't any dents in the Racer, and the machine was clean.   
Ace sighed. Maybe it was just him. Cosmo's little prank attacks could make him rather.. paranoid.   
Yea, that had to be it.   
So, Ace smiled, waved back and went on with his business. It seem to make the people all the happier when he did that. And for some reason, that didn't make him feel any easier. Even as he pulled up to the restaurant, people paused and looked as he got out. He was really starting to not like the attention.   
Vega was there, waiting by the door and coming forward as he departed the mammoth machine.   
"Sorry if I'm late," Ace said immediately. Vega waved it off with a smile.   
"You're not late. I'm early actually. But I suspect you've had a rough day," the older man said with a sympathetic smile, white brows raising at him.   
"Shows that bad?" Ace sighed. Vega chuckled and nodded.   
"A little. But that's not the only reason I suspected."   
Vega made a small gesture to the Racer, where a few people were gathered... Snickering.   
Ace felt his stomach do a flip-flop.   
Now what?   
Vega followed him as he approached the nose of his own car and found...   
Ace groaned, slapping a hand across his face.   
Found the doll. Cosmo's stupid, evil, utterly vile doll! Strapped to the grill of his car. Still wearing the pink, frilly and now wind blown dress, with a little sign below it.   
'Help me, Help me. I'm being tortured by an evil magician!'   
"That does it. He dies!" Ace proclaimed to all the world as Vega tried, and failed, not to break out laughing. He glared. He glared at Vega, at the patrons and passerby's. Just.. Everyone!   
Then, ripped the doll off the grill and for a moment, just a moment, considered ripping it apart limb by limb. But then, Ace realized everyone was watching him. Waiting to see if he would add that crowning touch to his humiliation.   
He would not. He simply held the damn doll between his hands and separated them in a glitter of magic, letting the powers that be have the cursed thing.   
Once that was done, people just smiled, and chortled and went back to their lives, leaving one hot faced magician glaring at the front of his car.   
"The kid's good," Vega snickered, not flinching under Ace's withering gaze   
"Kill him.. I have to kill him, Vega," Ace growled, though the cop knew didn't really mean it. Well... not too seriously at least. Of all the... Cosmo and his sense of humor. And Ace was his favorite target. Not that he went after him often.   
But when he did....   
Vega laughed and wrapped an arm around Ace's shoulders and steered him toward the restaurant.   
"Come on, it's just a doll, Ace," Vega said lightly and Ace tried to let it go with a sigh.   
"I guess you're right. At least I'll never see it again," Ace heaved with relief.   
Vega raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh, got all three of them already, eh?" he asked curiously.   
Ace froze and gaped.   
"Three?!"   
Puzzled, Vega looked at him   
"Yea.. three of them. Cosmo stopped by the office and showed them to me." Then the detective grinned as he caught on. "You didn't get all three, did you?"   
Ace moaned. Three.   
One down.. two to go.   
He would never survive.   
Vega laughed and shoved him inside. "Come on. I think you need a drink," he declared. Ace moaned and nodded.   
"Even two."   
"How about three?" Vega asked teasingly.   
Ace scowled at him and snarled silently. The long day was about to become a long night.   



End file.
